It's Not About Sex, Dumbass

 Getting sick and tired of being called a 'groomer' or worse by the right, because we're pro-LGBT.

Listen. It isn't about sex. Conservatives are the ones dragging sex into this. It was never about sex. It's about identity.

A kid who's five years old decides they like girls. Is that about sex? No. It's about the idea that they like girls. That is all it is. When we were six? We had a crush on the Invisible Woman, Sue Storm. We saw her in a Spider-Man comic, and she seemed nice, and nurturing. She was shown to be a good and caring mother, and we decided at that point we "liked" her.

We didn't have a fucking clue what sex was. Sex wasn't even in the picture.

(By the by, before you start guessing our gender -- the answer is "yes". Our gender is "yes".)

Being a lesbian doesn't have anything to do with sex when you're a kid. That isn't on the radar. It just means you "like" girls more than you "like" boys. Or you might not like boys at all. Or you might feel some connection to boys, in how you want to dress and act, but you don't "like" them the same way you "like" girls.

It is not about sex.

Now let's talk about trans identity.

It's not about sex.

When you are old enough to identify yourself, "I am me. This is what I am," you're old enough to know your gender. This has nothing to do with sex. "I feel like a boy, why don't I look like one?"

When you're a kid, you've got a mental picture of yourself. Who you are. What you look like. And sometimes, that mental image doesn't match your physical body. When we were a kid, our mental picture was not a match to our actual image. (Different hair colour, different shape), but our sex and gender still lined up.

For some kids however, it doesn't. Their bodies just don't 'fit'. And this starts to bother them. You tell "Tim" that they're a boy, but to Tim, that doesn't sound or feel right. It doesn't match their mental template, how they see themselves.

It's not about sex.

And you know what you do when "Tim" tells you she's a girl?
You say "okay", and leave it at that. Call Tim "her", because it makes the kid happy. If she decides to go by "Tabitha" instead, go along with it, because it makes the kid happy.

If it's a phase, it'll end sooner or later.
But if the kid is trans? You just saved them a hell of a lot of anguish.

This is not "grooming". This is the kid establishing their identity, and setting boundaries, and as an adult, you should fucking respect that.

You're not teaching the kid about sex.

Now, let's talk the importance of language.

"Lesbian", "Gay", "Bisexual", "Trans".

Teaching kids these words aren't teaching them about sex. It's teaching them words they can use to identify how they feel, how they think, how they identify themselves.

In the '80s, teenagers were throwing around words like 'faggot', and 'homo'. And they had no fucking clue what they were talking about. We should know, we lived through it.

We bet you dollars to donuts most of those kids had no fucking idea what being gay was like, or what it meant. And goddess help anyone who was trans in the 80s. Because there wasn't any real language to help kids figure out who the fuck they were.

And it wasn't about sex.

When we were in our teens, we saw a movie (Alien Prey), which had a softcore lesbian scene. We were there with a guy we knew, and we just stared. Not because of the sex. That didn't hold any interest to us. Because it wasn't about sex.

It was the idea of two women being intimate with one another. We didn't think that was possible. We were wondering if we'd been wrong at seeing one of the characters as a woman in earlier scenes, because girls don't do that.

We had no fucking clue what a lesbian was. We'd heard the word, but it didn't click what the word actually meant. It took us about another five years to actually buy a clue.

Teaching a kid what LGBT means. What it really means, gives the kid an idea of who they are and who they are not, and who someone else might be. It isn't about sex. It's about identity.

"I like girls. I'm a girl. I'm lesbian. That's okay." It isn't sex.
"I look like a girl. I'm a boy. I'm trans. That's okay." It isn't sex.

Sex doesn't come into the picture until the kid's hitting puberty, and it's time to tell them about the birds and the bees, using protection, and what a period is (and that it's okay). That's not until you're hitting Grade 5 (which is just the raw basics), and not really going in-depth until you're in about Grade 7+ (which is when it's really important).

And guess what? It's still not about sex.

Sex comes into it, but that's not what LGBT+ is about. It's about knowing who you are, what that means for you, and gives you words to describe yourself and those around you. That's what it is. "I'm a lesbian." Okay. So good, we know you're a girl and like girls. That doesn't mean you want to bang us or any other given girl in the room, just like (we hope) being straight doesn't mean you want to bang every guy in the room.

If you're a guy, being straight doesn't mean we should assume you want to fuck every girl in the room, so why do you think someone who's gay wants to fuck every guy there?

And if you do want to fuck every girl in the room guys? Seek fucking help, because you've got a problem.

So. Let's talk actual pedophilia for a second.

It's a mental illness. Specifically, your brain crossed wires, so that instead of growing sexually attracted to people your age or higher, it fixates on prepubescent kids. Note the word instead. In the worst cases it also becomes an obsession. This is what makes it an illness.

And that is about sex. Which is what makes it an illness.
Know what you call it when they're attracted to adults with that kind of obsession?
Nymphomania. Which, in spite of all the media and porn, is not a good thing.
(There's a story about a guy who broke into a woman's house in Russia. She captured him and banged him for weeks. He had friction burns and open sores before he was rescued, and had to seek therapy for the trauma that caused. Yeah, how fun do you think it was for him?)

You might still like guys or girls or whatever, but it isn't the same. Just like if you're a lesbian, you might still get a husband, you might still have kids, but it isn't the same as if you were in a relationship with another woman. (Brokeback Mountain much?)

Teaching a kid about LGBT is not the same as being a pedophile. It isn't grooming the kid for anything. It's giving the kids the tools to describe themselves and others, and that includes "I'm cis." which means, "I'm a girl and I like boys." And has nothing to do with sex.

When a 6 year old girl gives a 6 year old boy a kiss on the cheek, do you think she's thinking about sex? No, she's saying "I like you", and she sees adults do that to people they like. The kid doesn't know about sex, doesn't understand the concept of sex. Sex isn't in the picture.

So, fuck off with that grooming shit.
It isn't about sex. It's about identity. Drive that into your skull.
It isn't grooming to teach kids that some boys like boys and some girls like girls. You don't have to bring sex into the picture. It isn't grooming when someone who looks like a girl comes up and says they're a boy, and you go, "okay". Sex isn't in the picture.

Only someone who's fixated on guys and girls getting their rocks off in bathrooms or with kids would fixate on sex.

Oh, and by the way. Why aren't you hating on the guys on the conservative side of things who get caught in pedophilia scandals or who get caught having gay affairs? Is it a case of 'well, it's okay if my side does it'? Where's the outrage?

"I did a bad thing, but with God's help I will be better. I love my wife and kids." says the politician who was caught hiring male prostitutes.

And let's not get into the church, and the sheer amount of ... you know what we're talking about, we don't need to go much further there.

Where's the fucking outrage about that on the conservative side? There should have been a fucking cleansing, there should have been steps taken to ensure that kind of abuse never happens again.

"Oh, but he's the head of our church, he seemed so nice." Yeah, so? Nice isn't a personality trait, it's a social strategy that lets you get what you want. The guy's in a position of power and is trusted. So, he can get away with doing horrible stuff.

Kids are more at risk there than at school. Why? Because teachers are watched like hawks. You might want to consider putting your church under the same scrutiny.

And that's our rant for today.